Fun stuff

While chatting to David Sheard, I described my excitement for (teaching) Newtonian mechanics as that given by a mistress, whereas the comfort of working with general relativity as that given by a stable partner. We then wrote this poem together, which is a re-adaptation of Shakespeare's Sonnet 130. We hope we did not cause to much offence to the Bard.

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Ode to Newtonian Mechanics (after Sonnet 130)

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My mistress shapes ellipses round the Sun;

    Their perihelion does not precess.

If neutron stars combine, no waves are shun,

    If stars be dense, black holes may not progress.

I’ve read that matter makes space-time be curved,

    But no such curvature, just force I see;

The field equations, Einstein to us served;

   Yet she prefers d(m v) by dt.

I love to talk of her, yet well I know

    That relativity be general;

I grant I never saw dark matter though;

    My mistress is far less ephemeral.

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   And yet, by heav’n, I think my love as rare,

   For Newton and Einstein I shan’t compare.

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    ADADS and DHS